I wonder, do you know?

The other day some one on my FaceBook news feed posted a video of a guy being questioned about his carrying a gun in the open.

Here is the link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jfdEbe7e9GE

I made a comment about how I thought the guy was being a kinda ass. Let me state that the guy had every Constitutional right to do what he was doing, I thought he was just being an ass for doing it and the way he was doing it.

Some one commented on my comment. He used all of the standard Right wing and Teaparty rhetoric. Our conversation roamed around a bunch of different hot button gun issues. But never seemed to really deal with the subject of my original post.

It seems that whenever I made a good strong and irrefutable argument, the topic bounced someplace else. I have seen this tactic many times and though it is frustrating, it seems to be an acceptable way to control a conversation. I have to admit, I may have used it once or twice. Having said that, I think the some use it to divert away from a weak, or hypocritical    argument.

Our conversation finally drifted to the Travon Martin, Zimmerman shooting in Florida. I had hoped that we could get some understanding on that subject. I am such am optimist!

It turns out that I was totally misinformed on the whole thing. There were details that did not make it into the mainstream media. Important things.

Things like the boy was being disrespectful and antagonistic toward Mr. Zimmerman. Being the guy I am,  I wanted to know more of the things that I had missed out on. It turns out that there were eye witnesses, despite what I had heard stating that no one had stepped up, and they say the whole thing, according to my new FB friend, was about the boy disrespecting the man with the gun.

It turns out that the boy was being disrespectful to the man, my FB friend reminded me again and again. It also turns out, according to my new FB friend, that Travon Martin had gone home and then went out looking for Mr. Zimmerman and that is when the two had their final confrontation that resulted in the shooting of a 17 year old man. I have not heard this before and don't know the truth here.

It turns out that, Martin was being DISRESPECTFUL, and used the sidewalk as deadly weapon. He was not doing as he was told. I think that my FB friend was trying to tell me that it was Travon Martin's fault that he got shot, so I asked my FB friend that very question, "Are you saying that it was the victims fault he got shot to death?"

My new relationship with my new FB friend did not last very long. He never did answered my question and I think he blocked me.

Now we all know that I may not be the swiftest boat on the lake and sometimes I miss the really important things, so maybe I missed the hint this guy was sending me. My excuse is that I was working and distracted by minor things like cars and people crossing the street while I was making deliveries.

It finally came to me, he was sending me a code word! I have another fault, one that has gotten me in trouble a few times and one that I really don't want to change: I just don't understand how any one can think that because some one has different color skin, they can be told what to do and how to act.

I think that my lost FB friend was trying to say that the boy needed to be punished because he was being disrespectful. I asked him if he should be shot and die because he was being disrespectful? He directed the conversation someplace else, but it went back to the whole respect thing, and how Zimmerman was not wrong to do anything that he did, including shooting a boy for being disrespectful. I reminded him that the police had told Zimmerman to back off and stay in the car.

And that is when I asked the fateful question, "Was it the victims fault he got shot." And got blocked.

This would be the place in this commentary, that I should editorialize and make my statement about the whole idiocy of that killing of a 17 year old boy by a wannabe cop and over-achieving neighborhood watchman. But I want to hear what you have to say about it first.

olc

A visit to the danger zone

The other day I had a visit from a friend. Now this person and I go back a ways. I was infatuated with some work my friend did which I studied for a college assignment. I was lucky enough to get an interview with this person and a friendship of sorts was ensued.

We have a rather contentious relationship, we will go for long periods of time without seeing each other. During one point in our relationship I felt pushed away, used like a piece of trash to be discarded. Then again I may have done the same.

Whenever I get a visit from my friend, I am happy and excited. My friend is an exciting person and always brightens my day. This time we were gonna talk about a story I was working on, after all my friend is a published author and the closest thing I have to a muse.

My door burst open and we were on. We talked and hugged, got caught up and settled into reading my work. After reading it, I was told to email the story, and she would go further into it. The moonshine was out and some flowed. Something else was brought out and partaken.

I have been wondering about that stuff and how I could deal with it. Well, after a bit my brain was not working so well. It was at that moment my friend said, "If you were a real man you'd drink that," nodding to the sip or more of beverage in front of me. "I've finished 4 shots and you have not finished with yours."

"I was a little confounded by that statement, and my head was spinning from it and other things roaming around my brain. I was not sure what to say, so I picked up my glass, swirled it, sniffed it and drank half what was there looking my friend in the eye all the while. I put the drink down...and left it there.

We talked awhile, but never really got to talking about my story or how to make it better. Finally it was time for my friend to go. My friend had many things to do during the day and I wanted to continue with my writing. A little something-something was left for me to use later, though I kinda knew I would not.

It bothered me that my manhood would be challenged by my friend. My past with all its abuses was well known. We have talked about my addictions, yet when I knew that I was at a point where I had to stop, my very being was challenged. I wanted to drink that stuff and I wanted to do the other, but I knew a cliff was in front of me and I could not fall off. There would be no bottom until the final Crash.

Does this make me less than a man? Do I suffer from wimpitis because I know a bad thing when I find it? If that is the case, than I am a wimp. I walked out side after my friend left and I was reminded of all the other times I had done the very same thing, only I had said yes back then. I remembered the empty feeling of wanting more. I remembered the way the world looked in the middle of the afternoon when I was fucked-up with various poisons in my blood. I remembered the need to get more into my system---to make me feel better---?

I felt all of these feelings right at that moment. I knew it was all false, even my feelings of inadequacy were not real, at least partly. I felt empty and knew that I could fill that empty space with chemicals and feel happy for a moment. I went back into the house and threw the shit into the fire and closed that door.

olc